If i were gay

Otto and I were sitting, playing a board game, when suddenly Trixie, in human form, ran in, tuned on a boom box, waved her hand, and I started to lip sink to the most idiotic song. I went like this;

Here we are dear old friend
You and I drunk again
Laughs have been had and tears have been shed
Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head
But if I were gay
I would give you my heart
And if I were gay
You'd be my work of art
And if I were gay
We would swim in romance
But I'm not gay
So get your hand out of my pants

It's not that I don't care
I do
I just don't see myself in you
Another time another time
Another scene
I'd be right behind you if you know what I mean
'cause if I were gay
I would give you my soul
And if I were gay I would give you my whole being
And if I were gay
We would tear down the walls
But I'm not gay
So won't you stop cupping my...hand?

That's when Antauri came in. He explained that Trixie was going through a romantic faze, but before he could explain any further, Trixie ran away, and he followed. Otto and I both looked at each other, and burst into laughter. We have one strange family.